Sometimes I feel like I've lived many different lives in this time I've had on our big blue planet, though I assure you that there has only been one. It might not be a grand story so far but I guarantee you it has many chapters and hopefully will have many many more. So what made today the day that I decided to finally share you ask? I can pinpoint the exact moment today that sent my mind into a frenzy of things I wished I could say outloud but may not be brave enough to put an audible voice to. I was laying in the bedroom of my aunts house, watching eek... The kardashians, and I pulled up Facebook on my phone and to my horror I saw something that normally would send my cuss like a sailor mouth into overdrive but quickly realized I just couldn't. I won't go into details but it was a doozy until I thought about the situation a little bit and had to have faith that everything was fine. Despite not wanting to have that faith, I had to, for reasons I am just not ready to share at the moment. In the two hours post seeing that image I had received a few texts about it and been told what I should do about it. So here's where the clever title of my blog comes in. Why should I have to explain my life and it's choices to every person who may or may not even know about the situation? I shouldn't. Have I not lived for 35 years? Do I not normally make good choices?
All of these thoughts were swimming around in this head of mine while someone physically present in the room with me brought it up, insert spazz fest here. I flipped. I know I was wrong in doing so to that particular person but at the same time I needed to explode. I was tired of explaining myself and why i didn't want to make a big deal about said situation. As I stormed out of my aunts house yelling at the person about how to not tell me how to handle this I left my family behind, to enjoy their Labor Day while I went home to my cat and stewed about my behavior. I'm not perfect and have since appologized to said person but at the same time I was livid that I would feel so stifled and judged. Hence this blog.
Sometimes being a divorced mother is hard. My life by no means is horrible but all the same some of my situations are. I do everything in my power to create a peaceful coexistence for my child. Sometime it is at my expense, and yes some psycho babbling person may say oh that's not the right way to do things, for me it is. I do not want my child to suffer because her parents are not together any more than she already has to. It has taken her father and I a long time to get to this place and any threat to change that scares the bejesus out of me. I love that he wants to be a part of her life so why would I do anything to change that. I may not agree 100% with him all the time and I'm sure that it goes both ways. We don't live under a united roof but we try to be a united front when it comes to her. That is okay for me at this stage of the game though.
What I don't get though is why I have to explain that to people. Over and over I go through the same song and dance and maybe now it's getting old. I just want to scream: "Get over it folks, it is what it is and for now that's how it's going to stay because it works for us." End rant.
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